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I have been reading the unauthorized Oprah Winfrey biography by Kitty Kelley. I went to pick up a copy for someone as a gift and something told me to take a second for myself. 

Not surprisingly, the book presents divided opinions of Oprah, often juxtaposing things that Winfrey has been quoted as saying with the opinions and criticisms of those who claim to know her best. When reviewed objectively it’s impossible to know what the truth really is. But, my point in writing this latest installment of Mind & Mirth, isn’t to determine whether or not Oprah Winfrey exaggerated or fabricated claims about her upbringing, or whether or not she is worthy of the position in society that she holds, but rather to turn the lens on the phenomenon behind our insatiable need to identify and punish hypocrisy in the great and powerful. 

In Oprah’s case, it is undeniable the impact that her determination and stardom has wrought in the world, and for the most part, positive. Whether it’s raising awareness about sexual and child abuse, or making it cool to read the classics again, Oprah’s grasp has exceeded her reach – and according to the book, her reach was long. But all the good, which under normal circumstances would have eclipsed any wrong-doing, is instead ripped down amidst indictments over her indiscretions. Instead, with fingers pointed, she is told: “You’re not so great, after all.” 

Along these same lines, I read recently that Dr. Wayne Dyer is afflicted with a form of leukemia. As a long-time admirer of Dyer’s writings, I hit the internet looking for more information. What I found dismayed me, and probably caused the stirrings that would result in this article. In so many words, Dyer was being “accused” of the ultimate form of hypocrisy: if he was so good and enlightened and spiritually balanced, then how come he went and caught himself cancer? I came across comment after comment that said, if he had “walked his own talk, he wouldn’t be in that situation.” Again, the reason I cite this example is not because I want to determine how it is that an enlightened individual such as Dyer could create the experience of cancer in his life, let alone to argue for or against a human’s ability to control such a thing. Instead, I want to point out the same phenomenon that exists with Oprah Winfrey – they were teachers at the top of their game who were attacked when they seemingly strayed from the public’s expectations of them.

So, what is it in us that delights in ripping down the powerful, in holding a microscope on the actions of our world’s great thought leaders? At the end of the day, you might be surprised to learn that it has to do with taking personal responsibility for ourselves. 

In a sense, leaders are like living fairy tales for many of us. They represent an ideal, a person who, by the grace of god, luck, or special gifts has managed to land themselves in an enviable station. Like fairy tales, these people often come from humble beginnings and, therefore relate to the commoner in each of us. Inspired, hopeful and motivated, we believe that we too are capable of greatness in our own right. Until we realize how difficult it really is to achieve such a goal.  

It is easy to rip down a leader who has exhibited his or her humanity because until we undertake such a path we do not truly know of the endurance, fortitude, and courage it takes to stay the course that results in excellence. But, the even deeper issue at play here is far more epic. The truth is, we delight in seeing leaders fall because we believe it lets us off the hook. It is the shattering of the notion that such goodness, greatness and evolution actually exist within humanity. And if we believe that, then why bother trying. 

It has been said many times over that human beings aren’t afraid of their darkness, but their light. I say in counseling all the time that people aren’t afraid of failing – most people live with the belief that they are already an abysmal failure – people are afraid of their greatness, for with this comes great responsibility. We cannot be held accountable for things that we have never learned. Once we have learned, however, we must honor ourselves and others by utilizing the knowledge we have acquired. 

When I was working as a professional speaker, I saw thousands of people a year in classrooms and auditoriums all over North America. They came to be inspired. They came to be given the keys to happiness. And they sat with eyes wide and hearts open, as I shared the tools they needed to change their lives. But, at the end of each seminar, I impressed upon them a single idea. I told them that when the glow of the seminar wore off – which it would – that they alone were responsible for taking steps to move their lives forward. I warned them that they would inevitably begin doubting their ability to create change, and that they would be tempted to compare themselves to me and to the stories I told about my own and others’ struggles to achieve worthwhile goals. If this happened, I told them to remind themselves that we are exactly the same. Some of us are not given special qualities and others none. We are all capable of achieving the goals we choose for ourselves. In the end, we must muster the courage and take the steps necessary to having what we want. There are no magic tricks involved. We are the magic. 

And so, leaders lift our hearts and encourage us to want more and to take action. But after the glow of inspiration has faded, we are left with ourselves and the reality of being the only ones capable of creating our experience. Seen from this standpoint, the criticism that many leaders receive is never productive, but rather, counterproductive in the truest sense of the word. For it signals a submission on our parts that greatness is not possible, and all attempts at achieving it is futile. Many people see a failed leader as permission to give up; as proof that it can’t be done. 

The true gift of the great leader is the example of infinite potential available in each of us. And if that leader makes choices along that way that create conflict, confusion or discord, then it merely points to that individual’s need for learning in that area. This display of humanity should be seen as further inspiration that we are all capable of great acts and powerful creativity – with and without mistakes along with way.

The pointing out of other’s shortcomings or failures only results in deterring the critics from embarking on their own path to greatness. And so, pity not the Oprahs and the Wayne Dyers of the world, for they are in good hands – their own. Instead, let us place our focus and determination on the things needed to propel our own lives forward, and then we’ll all come out on top.

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